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I hate to admit it, but I've gotten myself addicted to the new Coldplay album. This is bad. I've always been adamantly opposed to Coldplay's sort of music: emotionally heavy, romantic shlock really. I like my music upbeat and firmly in the rock genre (with small concessions to ska and punk). I dunno what I'd call Coldplay...aside from crap...and really, I can't do that anymore since I started appreciating them.
I think it ties into the fact that I've been very emotional for the past month or so. We focus so much on viewing people as individuals in all of my classes that I've started becoming hyper-aware of the people around me and how my actions and those of others are impacting them (this in turn feeds that contemplative stuff I mentioned in my last post). I'm extremely happy at med school, but that happiness makes me feel guilty about all the other people who don't feel it, and about how little I'm doing to help change that (Linz talked about something sort of similar recently). As a result, I've been shunning heavier music and going for more melodic, thought-provoking stuff--it seems to mirror my thought processes more. Maybe this isn't necessarily a good thing, as sitting around and dwelling on the plight of humanity could really just be another form of self-indulgence (something I'm prone to...but I suppose most of us are, for one reason or another). I think it's something I need to do at this point in my life though...challenge my preconceptions and predjudices and the way I look at the world and try to broaden my perspectives, or at least to be aware enough of my personal limitations to prevent them from interfering with interpersonal interactions. I never realized just how deeply some of those predjudices are ingrained in me, and it's somewhat uncomfortable to really dig down and try to analyze the reasons why I react to some people or situations in certain ways. I think I might be making progress, but in trying so hard not to take anything for granted, I've left the door open for a lot of other experiences that never hit me before to make an impact.
So if this leads me to enjoy Coldplay, or to tear up at the way the sun hits the treetops first thing in the morning, or to smile at the way people unconciously respond to the world around them, you'll have to forgive me. I'm not at my most stable right now, but that's not such a bad thing.
I think it ties into the fact that I've been very emotional for the past month or so. We focus so much on viewing people as individuals in all of my classes that I've started becoming hyper-aware of the people around me and how my actions and those of others are impacting them (this in turn feeds that contemplative stuff I mentioned in my last post). I'm extremely happy at med school, but that happiness makes me feel guilty about all the other people who don't feel it, and about how little I'm doing to help change that (Linz talked about something sort of similar recently). As a result, I've been shunning heavier music and going for more melodic, thought-provoking stuff--it seems to mirror my thought processes more. Maybe this isn't necessarily a good thing, as sitting around and dwelling on the plight of humanity could really just be another form of self-indulgence (something I'm prone to...but I suppose most of us are, for one reason or another). I think it's something I need to do at this point in my life though...challenge my preconceptions and predjudices and the way I look at the world and try to broaden my perspectives, or at least to be aware enough of my personal limitations to prevent them from interfering with interpersonal interactions. I never realized just how deeply some of those predjudices are ingrained in me, and it's somewhat uncomfortable to really dig down and try to analyze the reasons why I react to some people or situations in certain ways. I think I might be making progress, but in trying so hard not to take anything for granted, I've left the door open for a lot of other experiences that never hit me before to make an impact.
So if this leads me to enjoy Coldplay, or to tear up at the way the sun hits the treetops first thing in the morning, or to smile at the way people unconciously respond to the world around them, you'll have to forgive me. I'm not at my most stable right now, but that's not such a bad thing.
posted by Keltok at 8:26 PM
1 Comments:
Hey, I never meant my post to be a guilt trip to you, or other people who at least try to do their bit. You can only judge a person by their times, right? So the two of us haven't haven't cured any diseases or eradicated hunger anywhere . . . at least we started trying to take a look around, investigate other viewpoints, and made a few steps in the right direction.
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