Thursday, June 09, 2005

SUCH a NERD!

Well, after months and months of not playing, I have finally resumed my activities in the highly addictive world of KoL (that's Kingdom of Loathing, y'all). I'd post a link, but I'm technically inept, so google it yourself.

KoL is like a cross between D and D, Hitchhiker's Guide, and the Discworld of Terry Pratchett, with a lot of little Monty Python/They Might Be Giants/Nethack/other ancient RPG references. Plus the art is insanely adorable. Plus I got to be a Disco Bandit with Mad Lootings Skillz and the capacity for Disco Face Stabs and Electric Boogaloos. How can you go wrong?

Well...much as I hate to admit it, there was only so much Mafia Penguin ass kicking/Degrassi Gnoll butt whooping/herb brownie eating I was capable of doing before becoming inexorably bored. Things got way too easy as I leveled up, and it felt like what new content was added was more of a stopgap defense, meant to keep people occupied with busywork that I, frankly, had no patience for.

But then the Naughty Sorceress came into play, the King of the Kingdom was abducted, and it was up to one supremely pimpin' DB to save the day.

Which, of course, I did. With much style, and aplomb. And man, it was a long hard road...had to whoop several asses on several lesser monsters to even reach that slut. And these monsters aren't the kind you can just beat on with your sword, they're all cleverly crafted riddles, and you can ONLY beat them by figuring out the right item to use. There are little clues and puns and obscure references that put you on the path to success (to kill a Tyrannosaurus Tex, you need a chaos butterfly, which flaps its wings and alters the trajectory of a nearby asteroid...). Anyways, following those things (and a tough little duel with your own shadow...obligatory stuff in any RPG), you get to meet the sorceress.

And she's tough. She likes to blow sulty little kisses at you, y'know, distract you at the crucial moment. And then she morphs into this multi-tentacled (think scary anime tentacle rape...or maybe don't...hmm...yeah, go with the latter) thing and kicks more ass, and then, she morphs into...a SAUSAGE. But a dark energy filled one! And you can only beat her with...

Hang on, wait, no one cares. Even I don't care, because hey, it's over and done. I kicked her sexy little bottom, set free the king, and did what I've been longing to do since I started playing.

I ASCENDED.
Um. Hard to explain. I'm still me, with one of my key skillz (Mad Looting, of course), but I'm now reincarnated as a different class. Accordian Thief. So. Cool.

I <3 Jick.

1 Comments:

Blogger Lu Hill said...

You ascended? Is that kinda like how I feel when I eat homemade ice cream or something?

9:47 PM  

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